...it's beautiful loved by...

Woow.. long time want to write about this thing.. but, i've just found the idea.. and it's related with my last posting.. It's about a few things i've got that made me felt being loved so much by my friends... ^_^

Not about the spectacular things, it's simply but made me amazed...

I couldn't upload all, but here are some i could show you :

it's the very new thing i have... it's a valentine gift from someone who far away

(Linda from Sby)

I've told about it on my post in Feb'10

It's a surprise i've ever had, a privilege maybe... cause she's a part of my discipleship... though we've never been face to face in discipleship... but i could feel the love and care that she gives...

It's my birthday gift in 2007 from San-San

She's my very best friend

Actually, it's my first DVD of Hillsong i've ever had.

I was very waiting for this series.

And a few days before my birthday, when San-San and i were going to mal,

we visited a religious music shop, and she asked me to choose a DVD.

There were 2 kinds the newest songs, Amy Grant and this Hillsong series.

Confused to choose, i like both of them.

But finally, i chose Hillsong... because i have some collections of them.

I got it on my birthday in 2007, too...

It's a gift from two of my office friends...

They are Akhim and Pipit ^_^

As i told above... i loved to choose Amy and Hills... but I chose Hills from San-San

I'd never thought that i would get DVD of Amy, too...

I just thought that i would buy it by myself...

But God's grace's different than what i thought...

He gave me more than i could thought

Finally...i got both of them...

And here's my first concert ticket...

Like a dream came true...

Seeing Joel Houston and team (though it wasn't the full team)

at Senayan Tennis Indoor

It's a gift of my birthday in 2006 from San-San

23-11-2006

And it's me with Fany and friends from Indonesia who stayed in S'pore

I could be there, because of a gift (tickets) from a leader

It's a great memories at the end of 2006!

Still many things i couldn't tell about "a being loved by..." 

But here are what i could tell.. All about God's gifts and miracles for me...

Besides my friends... The One i could say thanks is GOD...whom we call JESUS...

He's the One who has given me opportunities to experience and
to gaze upon the beauty of His love...

It's Great... Great... and Great...!!!

Thanks, Father...!!!

***

..loving and being loved..

Firman Tuhan di ibadah Minggu ini  tentang mengasihi dan dikasihi. Ada beberapa ciri orang, yang parah itu adalah : Tidak mau mengasihi dan tidak mau dikasihi.

Ada 1 tipe yang  merupakan refleksi dari diriku : Mau mengasihi tetapi tidak mau dikasihi. Aku menggantinya menjadi : Mau mengasihi tetapi sungkan untuk dikasihi.

Tipe ini adalah orang yang terkadang berpikir tidak mau meyusahkan orang lain. Dalam prakteknya, sungkan meminta pertolongan orang lain, karena saking tidak mau menyusahkan dan lebih terbiasa untuk memberikan pertolongan bagi orang lain.

Sejak kecil aku bertumbuh menjadi gadis yang terus-menerus belajar untuk mandiri. Dari background tidak adanya papa di keluarga, membuat aku dididik untuk menjadi dewasa dan bertanggung jawab sejak kecil. Tidak ada kata manja di dalam hidupku. Terasa keras rasanya didikan yang diberikan. Melakukan sesuatu yang di mata keluarga lain merupakan hal yang luar biasa, adalah menjadi biasa di dalam keluargaku. Jadi, jika ada keberhasilan diraih, hampir ditanggapi dengan respon yang biasa-biasa saja oleh keluargaku. Jika berhasil, memang sudah sewajarnya dan seharusnya aku bisa. Tidak pernah ada yang spesial di mata keluargaku. Tidak mendapatkan pujian itu sudah menjadi hal yang biasa. Kaku?!?! Yup!!! Begitulah yang terjadi di dalam keluargaku. Sulit mengekspresikan kasih di dalam keluarga.

Hal tersebut terus bergulir sampai aku tumbuh remaja. Aku mulai belajar mandiri dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Memasak, mencuci pakaian, piring, membereskan rumah, pergi naik bus sendiri... itu sudah kulakukan sejak aku kecil. Terlebih lagi ketika aku SMP... mulai pelayanan dan pulang malam itu sudah menjadi hal yang biasa... hampir tanpa ada rasa takut aku melakukannya. Dan sampai saat ini ternyata itu yang terpola di pikiranku, bahwa aku mampu melakukan segala hal sendiri. Membeli beberapa kebutuhan dan keinginanku dengan jerih lelah sendiri, itu suatu kebanggaan juga buatku. Meski di hati kecil sempat ada rasa ingin seperti orang lain, tetapi hampir jarang sekali aku mengharapkannya.

Sering ku melihat beberapa teman yang cukup bergantung jika mau pulang, khususnya pulang malam dari suatu acara. Bisa-bisanya mereka calling teman-teman yang pria dan meminta untuk dijemput. Bahkan ada yang sampai manja sekali sepertinya, dan sudah ketergantungan.

Ketika ku melihatnya... hati kecilku berkata, "BUKAN GUE BANGEEETT!!!!"

Hampir tidak pernah aku memohon belaskasihan untuk diantar sampai ke depan rumahku, karena kupikir aku masih bisa melakukannya sendiri.

Tetapi beberapa waktu belakangan ini aku menjadi berpikir... apakah yang aku lakukan itu salah? Dan ketika kumendengar firman ini di hari Minggu, aku mulai lebih mengerti dengan apa yang terjadi di diriku. Aku menutup diri untuk orang lain bisa melakukan sesuatu bagi hidupku. Mungkin ada kalanya baik, tetapi juga tidak baik jika berlebihan.

Terbawa diriku pada kejadian tahun lalu, ketika memang mama harus mengalami sakit dan dioperasi. Hal yang sungguh di luar pemikiran dan kemampuanku. Seakan ku dibuat Tuhan untuk melapangkan hati menerima banyak bantuan dari banyak orang yang tidak terhitung, dan bahkan tidak kuketahui dengan jelas tiap orangnya. Seorang teman dekatku hanya berkata pada waktu itu, "Sudahlah Nov... Be Grateful aja... ini memang waktunya lu untuk menerima dan menikmati kemurahan Tuhan."

Sungguh tidaklah terbiasa bagiku untuk menerima sesuatu yang bukan dari keluarga dekat. Sungkan rasanya.. tetapi itu terjadi di dalam hidupku. Tahun 2009 adalah tahun di mana Tuhan berjanji dan Tuhan genapi janjiNya itu di dalam hidupku. Bahwa aku sungguh-sungguh melihat tanganNya sendiri yang bekerja dan melimpahkan apa yang tidak pernah kupikir dan kubayangkan. Semua adalah pelajaran yang berharga bagiku. Membuka hati untuk dikasihi oleh orang lain. Tidaklah salah jika aku berlaku seperti itu. Tidak selamanya aku bisa berdiri dan berjuang sendiri untuk dan bersama keluargaku. Ada kalanya aku harus mengijinkan orang lain yang bukan keluarga untuk masuk ke dalam pergumulan pribadi / keluargaku.

Mungkin ini suatu proses yang Tuhan ijinkan untuk mempersiapkan aku di masa depan. Mungkin selama ini sikapku yang memberi kesan bahwa aku wanita perkasa yang tidak butuh pria di dalam hidupku, dan membuat orang lain, khususnya pria agak sungkan juga mendekatiku. Hahahahahaha...

That's just my analysis.

Loving and being Loved... mengingatkan aku bahwa aku tidak bisa selamanya melakukan segala sesuatu sendiri... mengingatkan aku bahwa aku butuh orang lain dalam hidupku... mengingatkan aku untuk tidak kaku dan tidak terlalu menunjukkan sifat ketangguhanku dan dominanku...

Thanks Pa... Engkau begitu mengasihiku sehingga ku bisa belajar hal ini... Thanks juga, jika selama ini aku bisa mandiri. Semua karena anugerahMu... bukan karena kemampuanku.... ^_^

***

Giving my Best

I heard it a few days ago when I watched TV at night. There’s a TV program which took a theme about Giving my Best. Some guests were invited to tell the story about their lives, how they totally give their lives to their jobs.. loving and living their jobs which giving them lives.

Suddenly, it disturbed my mind… a statement came to me, “If many peoples out there know how to give their best to their jobs, to their boss… how about us as God’s children?”
God always knows and gives His Best for us, but we usually forget Him, forget to give our best for Him. There're only complains, regrets, etc.. that always we do.
Colossians 3:23 says : " And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; "
We know about it, we've heard about it in many times which we couldn't count. But the question is : "Have we practiced it as daily habit?"

Need a discipline to do it.
Need to remind and motivate ourselves constantly.
Just inner-driven and His grace could make it happened.

So, if you're still fighting to make it, i just can say that : "Don't give up!!! You can do all things through Him Who strengthens you. Not by your might, but His."

He's with you ^_^

***

..whiter than snow..

when i was googling, i saw this pic... and something came to my mind about 2 things... SUN and SNOW... SUN talks about HOPE in my heart. i remember about Hosea 6:3 and the song of Brooke Fraser, it says - "as surely as the SUN will rise You'll come to us, certain as the dawn appears..."

SNOW talks about PURITY... that He'll cleanse our hearts whiter than snow...

a few days ago, i made an extreme decision... when i discussed with a friend (a man), he said that i have been so brave to do that... not all women could do it. one thing caused me and pushed me and motivated me to do it : " i wanted to make my heart whiter than snow "... i didn't care what people would say... i just had a business with HIM...

i knew it's great decision, but after i did it, i felt free... and when i had prayer on that night, God came to me and said, "Vi, don't you know, it's what I want to do in your life, to make you understand that I just have a business with your heart, your life... not with others' hearts."

i was crying when He said it. Philipians 3:13-14 reminded me to release all useless things in my life... and i did it... i offered all of my hopes and dreams to His hand.

it's not easy... but i learn to put my trust in Him everyday. i think i could call it : "the delayed of hope."... hahahaha....

***

... what is left ?? ...

When you find nothing in your room of life,
make sure that there's a word of God left in it.

*****

-- L i F E --

Life must have a destination

it's usual called Vision

Mission is the Journey

for us

to Reach the Vision

Journey is the process

which needs Time to Pay

***

*** Walking with.... ***

what do you think about this pic?

i've just found it and it talks many things, especially about my life. i find myself walking on that long path. i've seen it since 2 or 3 years ago when i prayed. till now i see my life is still walking, it's very long long way to go... and i don't know where the finish line is.

2 years ago, when i had praying and fasting with all the staffs, leaders and elders, someone prayed for me. she said that she looked me walking freely after tore down the veils which veiled my life that made me couldn't see clearly the way where i wanted to go. i didn't walk with empty hands. she saw that i was bringing a bag. that's filled with the equipments which i would use later in my Canaan Land.

i didn't know where it is in reality. but on my vision, i was sure where i should go. the statement about The City on a Hill cannot be hidden... that's what i know until now. i will build that city which would be seen by many peoples... it's like a lighthouse i think.

i found myself in a domain of Education and Training. i'm still asking God, what should i do step by step. i just keep dreaming and thinking, what the next step i should take?

still struggling about it. 

still waiting for an answer that could influence my decision.

but i've ever thought that i must make up my mind with or without that answer.

so it means : DECIDE IT !!! My future is on my hands, and His.


when i saw this pic, i thought that's me walking with Him, and He took my bag with all of the equipments that i brought. so i could walk freely.
speaking with Him for along the way....
knowing Him more and more....


* * * * *